A haalooo PATEL Aavyo

A haalooo PATEL Aavyo; 
Wow - what an impact, guess this is the biggest impact "Patel's" have made after the famous rapper Devang Patel!

Its "Reservation" again that is in question.
Time and again people have tweaked, twisted and played as per their benefits. The latest in the race are the Patel's from Gujarat who are trying their luck. They want "Patel's" to be part of OBC reservation.

So, what's so special about them:
   - These are the people who are most economically stable and yet they want reservation!

Usually satire makes its way from anywhere and this time "The Patel's" (demanding for Quota) are at the receiving end.

In a parallel world, after getting the Quota imagine how would day to day life be:

Indian Cricket On Field Conversation: <M.Patel bowling at 70kmph>

          Dhoni - Hey, Do i have to remind you that you are fast bowler ??

          M.Patel - I am Patel, and i am allowed to ball at 50% of my original speed.

          Dhoni - Thank God, that you are not a spinner.

          Ponting - I love India!

Education System would be updated with a new degree called as "Patelgiri"

• Proud dad's would say "Mera beta Engineering nahi, balki Patelgiri kar raha hai"
• Questions of "Beta bade hoke kya banoge? " would be answered as "Kaka hum Patelgiri karase"

       Now, only a Mumbaikar can understand the underlying meaning of "Main Patel hu" 

Bollywood Industry:

• Mere pass maa hai dialogue would be rewritten as "Hu Patel Chooo". 

• Salman would be doing an action packed "Patel Bhaijaan" on Eid. 

Patel Paani Puri Wala: <Conversation between Patel Pani puriwaala and customers>
               Girl - Bhai eka plate paani poori aapoo
               PaniPuriwala - Aaa lo ben
               Girl - Aa soo che, issme to 3 hi hai; ek plate me 6 piece aata hai
              PaniPuriwala - Naa ben, reservation k baad 3 hi aata hai.
Paise do poorrey, maal paao aadhaa

Political parties reaction:
Ramdas and his RPI party would be getting themselves ready to launch a nation wide protest
                "This is our house, we have ruled here since birth; 
               we will not allow any one else coming from outside"
              "Bahar k log aake hamari job le lete hai, we will not tolerate"

Laalu - "Hudd sala, eeee toh total blunder hai.. 
              Logon ko confuse naa karein Reservation me bhi Reservation - Totallyy Un-acceptootble"

MNS - "Hey lokaaa baaher se yeun, aamchya ghari hungama karto.. Mee Bhagto." 

Online Stores will have newly branded Tshirts.

Reactions in US - UK: Obama and Cameron praising their luck
Lucky we! otherwise we would have been exercising curfew in Washington and London..
Lets have double shots for our wisest ever decision..

I feel;
"Reservations in any field sucks and i am totally against it", 
but what is being demanded by these guys is not correct , the way it is being politicized, money being wasted is a concern.
If you really want, then get rid of Reservation entirely. 

It is as good as saying "Agar Reservation nahi hata sakte, toh hame andar aane do.. Rest we don't care"

Lets see:
What has been achieved thus far:

• City came to standstill.
• Schools shut, Curfew imposed & Social life hampered.
• At least 6 innocent people are being killed.
• Infrastructure of city damaged.
• Unnecessary energy of Army is being wasted.

What they will achieve:
        Someone will use this as their political launchpad and others will get a big Babaji ka Thullu..... 

We all know what has happened in the past, when it came to these topics..
A revolution came with Anna and it left behind Arvind, lets see what this one leaves.

Well, in all these the most innocent Patel - Parthiv asks
                      "Will this give me entry in Indian Cricket Team? "  

Politically Forked Up

As we enter the last week of this year's parliamentary monsoon session, the government will heave a sigh of relief on getting over with all the gates [#LalitGate, #SushmaGate]
Whereas the opposition will be patting it's back on the great achievement of paralysing entire monsoon session.

If you have noticed monsoon session was a total washout..
Approx. Rs. 2.5 lac is spent every minute, so you can do the math on how much amount is wasted everyday.
I don't think, we the tax-payers are willing to spend such an amount to see the ugly members stripping in the parliament, rather i would do a quick phuket trip :)

In a parallel world some politicians are claiming yes that is what Monsoons are meant to be - a Washout.
               "Cirkeet nahi dekhte ho, maansoon me washout hi hota hai."

The pain and frustration of each non working day in Parliament can be compared to - an average middle class (the taxpayer), cricket loving fan who has purchased a ticket (paid  tax) for the most awaited match (parliament session) and that match is washed out.

You got to appreciate our politicians, somehow out of no-where, before every session they will open some or the other Gate, which is sufficient enough to drain the session.
Be it #LalitGate, #CoalGate #AdarshGate, #ArmsGate or whatever gate..

I mean its simple, in India pick up any random word, suffix it with 'gate' and it becomes a Scam, Involve media and you are done to screw up the session ..

The word - "Opposition" is taken literally.
The main mantra is "Just because i am in Opposition i will not support you, irrespective of what you are presenting." 
  I will strip my self..
  I will hurl abuses..
  I will create ruckus .. 
  I will fight.. 
  I will demand resignation ..
  I will go on bhookh hartaal.. 
  If all these doesn't work then "I will pass sexist remarks .."
  I will do whatever it takes to not allow the session to work.

Its a pity, that our politicians are busy discussing the gates and wasting unnecessary energy in the wrong direction.

The thing that i am not able to figure out is:
       "If the opposition and the government both work for the upliftment of the poor,
        betterment of the farmers, women safety and Terrorism, then
        Why do we still have poverty?
        Why are farmers committing suicide?
        Why are there rapes happening ?
        How come terror walks in free from the neighbourhood? "

Anyways, I hope we could get answers to all these one day...

A kids letter (hypothetical) to our parties -

Well kid, this is a very naive optimism, practically speaking we have wasted another precious session and i wont't be surprised to see this repeating in future, which means we all are Politically Forked Up.